How To Make A Girl Fall In Love With You

Let’s get started. Getting a girl of your dreams is much like getting the car of your dream. But unlike a car which you can always bargain for, there is nothing like a 20 percent discount in courting the girl of your dreams, she’s so sweet a thing to be discounted, you dearly are in love with her and your feelings for her can only be communicated not by the words of the mouth, but by the words of the heart. Getting the girl actually depends on how big your heart is – faint heart, never won fair lady.

The first dating idea for any man is to make a good impression. In your doing so, you don’t have to talk, dress or do the common things that all the Toms do to get a decent girl’s attention. Be unique, that’s all you need. Be a man of his own style. Dress decently – indecency can make one be mistaken for arrogance; watch your language – obscene language gives the impression of immaturity, being uncultured and cheap; be a man of good habits – don’t drink or smoke like any other loser.

How to make her fall in love with you? Take your time. Add some romance to your dating style. When in College I had a crush on the most beautiful lady in our first year lot. Though all senior guys were out to get that girl, I managed to divert her attention from the other guys. I wrote her three letters without disclosing my identity and slid into her room secretly; all I said was ‘Yours Secret Admirer.’ The first letter contained the meaning of her name, this I got by playing around with the initials of her name to make meaning. The second was a funny message that could only be read backwards and it was all about her physique and her smartness. In the third letter I told the girl to be ready to receive a rose flower from her admirer, but only if she could be kind enough to phone him using a number that I had included in the letter. The girl did phone me that very night, and her first words to me were, “Hallo Secret Admirer.” So, the story of our love affair came to be. Later she told me that was so creative of me, no one had approached her in that manner. I made her fall in love with me and made a date in the romantic manner.

Befriending and understanding the girl you are out to get is the next important thing. This is what I also did. You have to understand that as a lady, she loves to be loved, adores to be adored and needs to be needed. This will move you closer to the girl and you’ll get to know what she’s into, what she likes and dislikes, and what her style is. Love is built upon friendship and it always leaves individuals better off having known each other should they break up. I and my College steady were to break some time later but to date, we are the best of buddies. Be sure that bringing out the selflessness friend in you will make her create room for you in her heart.

A shoulder to lean on and some good friend that she can always turn to is all that a lady wants. Please don’t hesitate to be helpful and supportive. Be that friend who rekindles her zeal of hardworking and restoring hope back into her life when she looses hope. This above all other things will make you her daily vitamin simply because you bring out the best in her in terms of personality and character. In you, she’ll have found that friend whom she can open up to, share with and advice each other on the rights and wrongs, the dos and don’ts of life. Don’t forget to always be there to celebrate the good times, and to lend an ear when the girl needs you to listen as a friend.

Make the girl feel special; because she’s someone’s friend – your friend, and let her know that she too has touched your life in a unique way like no one else could. Compliment her for her company and for being there when you needed her, when you felt sad and all alone. Show appreciations for the comfort the girl offers you and for making you smile.

In your day to day talks, share your dreams, your world, and every aspect of your life with your girl. Always dream with her, build with her, and always cheer her on and encourage her. Tell your girl how you always think about her even when you try not to think about her. Let the girl know that she’s your first thing in the morning and the last thing when you go to bed at night.

Her knowing that you were thinking of her when you slipped beneath the softness of your blanket and gave in to the bliss of sweet dreams, will make her go ‘my my’ and her heart will sing your name all the year round.

You have to be creative and constructive to keep girl’s interest in you so full of life. I remember one time I told my girlfriend to be to imagine we are both deaf and dump. We then sat opposite each other on the table and started sharing our feelings for each other using eyes and hand signs. It turned out to be some fun. There was also this time that we were in the library and we decided we are not going to speak to each other verbal, so I wrote a love note on a paper and passed it across the table to her, she replied and on and on we carried on our love on paper conversation till we almost exhausted a whole rim of paper. At sometime, I noticed that some guys sited with us on the table were enjoying our ordeal than their studies. Such are the things that made the girl embrace my world. I remember her suggesting that we play deaf and dump two years after we broke up, can you imagine that?

Never fail to phone her, even when she least expects it. I once called some girl that I was interested in at four o’clock in the morning. When inquiring of what I was doing up so early, I told her I was in thirteenth heaven, where people think of their loved ones when they can’t sleep. Wow! First thing early the next morning, she was at my door with a king-sized hug for me. No matter how many dates you take her, don’t make any elbow – exceeding moves after any date, just drop her home and with a friendly handshake, wish her good night. Don’t kiss her when she expects you to. Your respect as a gentleman will be earned on how patient you are with her when it comes to such matters as kissing her and accessing her inner graces.

The writing is on the wall that you want her, but you can’t have her just yet. Increase your demand. Try to show her that men are also hard to get at times. Make her realize that when she feels a little dizzy, a little tired, a little sad, a little sick, a lot bored and very much cold, she’s actually missing vitamin you. By this time, she’ll be so much into you and since love is truthful and is characterized by open and honest communication, honestly promise her your everlasting devotion, loyalty, respect, and your unconditional love for a lifetime. Prove to her that you’ll always be there for her, to listen and to hold her hand, and that you’ll always do your best to make her happy, and feel loved.

Remember, patience is the key to her heart; be like that gardener watching a fruit as it hangs on the tree, day after day admiring it, but, exercising tremendous self-discipline, neither feeling the fruit, nor pinching it, nor testing it to see if it is ready. And then, one day he holds out his hand and the fruit simply drops into it, ripe, warm and eager to be eaten.

The patience and self-control which you practice will make you more attractive and charming. This will qualify you as her daily vitamin and win you that heart hers.

I wish you to meet the girl of your dreams ASAP, make her fall in love with you, and make her feel the happiest girl in the world!

By: Kingsley Ukpabi On 11:29

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Online Dating Options For Whatever You Desire

As the proliferation of internet access across the country reaches an all-time high, it has become increasingly evident that, regardless of what it is that you’re searching for, you can probably find it online. Products and services of all shapes and sizes can be found online, and even things that are not easily obtainable locally can be found with minimal effort on the internet. Ease and convenience has reached a new high, one unimaginable even ten years ago.

While not exactly a “consumer product,” per se, the dating scene has seen a similar benefit from the influx of online access. One key aspect that has been aided by online dating is the specification, so to speak, of dating options. Regardless of what it is that you’re looking for from a mate, chances are good that you will be able to find it online. 

Perhaps you have heard commercials on the radio or seen several on TV about some of the more “serious” dating service websites. They highlight several individuals and couples who have experienced success and even marriage whilst using the website, and they promise to do the same for you. Whether or not the services offered actually work is up for debate, but the more important aspect of them lies elsewhere. The message that is conveyed by the commercials is that, for many people, the uncertainty and casualness of the bar and the nightclub scene has lost its draw, and that people are genuinely searching for solutions elsewhere. There are a myriad of websites out there that promise to find you the perfect mate, but more importantly they evidence that more and more people are seeing the internet as a legitimate serious dating channel.

Obviously, not everybody interested in online dating is looking for their future spouse. Even for those searching for much more casual relationships, it is probably that online dating offers a solution for them. A quick search online will find countless casual dating sites, and further inspection of the sites reveals that they can be quite specialized, indeed. Whatever your preference, be it orientation, fetishes, or simply specific interests, there is somebody else out there that shares it. In this respect, the internet has succeeded in making the world much smaller; whereas you might not have been able to find a person that shared certain interests in a lifetime twenty years ago, today they are easily located with a few clicks of the mouse.

While online dating may have been viewed as a “last resort” several years ago, it has recently become an increasingly viable option for many people. The truth is that much of the populace is simply fed up, disheartened, or frustrated by traditional dating channels. The bar and the nightclub scenes are simply not for everybody, and the places that people frequent are often not the ones in which they can the type of partner that they are looking for. Online dating has succeeded in offering more viable romantic options than people have ever had previously.

By: Kingsley Ukpabi On 03:44

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That's A Wrap - Living Life Large!

As we all process what we would like to achieve and gain in this journey called life, it is essential that we stop and take stock honestly of where we have been, where the road turned and caused us to miss an important step and what prevents us from finding that still small space within us where we can reorient, revive and refresh our spirits.

You may be surprised to learn you have somehow surrounded yourself with a partner, spouse or friend who is too needy or controlling to allow you this rightful space to regenerate.

If this is the case, you will note that they are the ones requiring all of these things most of the time. There is simply never time for you. You cannot continue a successful journey without removing this roadblock from your path.

That is dangerous. This kind of thinking enslaves us to someone else's dream which may become your nightmare.

Uncontrolled emotions are also dangerous; yours or theirs.

You exist in the vehicle you chose to travel across the great river of life in. You are in a leaky boat for the journey if your emotions control you. There is a time for emotions; it is not decision time about people, places or important things.

This is vitally important to the success of your journey. Uncontrolled emotions, or leaky containers, account for the constant loss of jobs, homes, relationships and all the things that are a part of our everyday life. It is that important to gain control and then think with your head only from that time forward. You feel with your heart after the decision making is completed.

Spend some quiet time alone getting comfortable in your own skin. Learn to love the person you are, as you are. You are a perfect image created in God's likeness. Does this necessarily mean He looks like you? More likely, he is a part of you that cannot be separated. When you weep, He weeps. He is the expression of the very best that you can be, the highest level of mastery you can attain in your lifetime, all expressed in and through you! No wonder you're a miracle; that is heady stuff.

Embrace your mistakes; they are the best evidence of higher learning in your personal history book. Acknowledge them, claim them and own the lessons you gained from them.

Lose your fear; our Creator did not instill this in us. It is the tool of evil doers who seek to enslave you to their misery.

Dare to have faith and dare to dream big.

Don't limit your good by assuming that you have to know how to reach your goal. Just set it and let your much more powerful subconscious mind tend to the how part of it. If you are not bound to the how of it, you are free to reach much higher in personal fulfillment and joy in this journey.

Vow to never allow the pursuit of material things to enslave you to a place of existence that does not truly being you joy. Spiritual journeys are often derailed by the pursuit of material things. Put them in proper perspective.

Breathe deeply' say thank you many times a day to the universe and to your Creator for the multitude of blessings we take for granted.

Become a seasoned traveler; recognize the signs, stop for small pleasures, leave a light footprint and embrace all the joy you can hold; then spread it around.

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By: Kingsley Ukpabi On 07:08

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The Exception to the Rule

I have discovered a phenomenon that I call the "Exception to the Rule Syndrome". It happens when we accept a stereotype and then meet someone who does not fit that stereotype.

A good friend of mine from my days in pest control befriended me on Face-Book. We had never discussed politics or religion so I think it surprised him to find out I am politically conservative and a devout Christian, just as I was surprised to find out he is a far left progressive who left the Catholic church years ago. When I respectfully disagreed with one of the President's policies on his time line I received several hateful responses from his progressive friends calling me a Nazi and a racist, among other things. He defended me stating he knows personally and that I am a good guy and not a racist (like all of the other conservatives). I then became the exception to the rule even though I have a multitude of conservative friends on and off Face-Book not one of whom is a racist, even the Tea Party Patriots. Those progressives would rather continue in their prejudice against all conservatives than to admit that most of us are not racist even though we do disagree with the policies our current President, regardless of his race.

On the other hand, conservatives tend to think all liberals are "baby killers" because or their support for abortion up to and during birth. When they encounter a liberal who thinks abortion should be limited to early in the first trimester except when the mother's life is at risk, they automatically categorize them as an exception rather than accept that many, if not most, liberals oppose late term or partial birth abortions for a reason other than to save the mother's life.

I first encountered the exception syndrome when I was a pest management trainer and I was asked to fill in for a sick technician in the far northwest suburbs of Chicago. The area was new to me but I was happy help. One commercial customer on that route was a tavern in a small town. I introduced myself and began to perform the service. They had Oprah on TV and the customers and bar owner were making derogatory comments. I had never heard the "N" word used that often or that vehemently even growing up in the fifties and sixties in southern Indiana. Knowing that the regular technician was black, I wondered how in the world he could put up with such a hostile environment. In between expletives the owner pointed out where Willie usually treats and reminded me to go down in the cellar like Willie always does. As the owner was signing my service ticket he asked if Willie would be back next month and I told him that he should be. He was very pleased and couldn't stop praising Willie and his good work. Even one of the customers chimed in, "He is a good guy." That technician was obviously the only black person with whom they had personal contact. As they got to know him they saw he didn't fit their racial stereotype. Rather than set aside their prejudice they simply decided he must be an "exception to the rule".

In recent years our society has become more and more divided along religious, political, racial and ethnic lines. We tend to segregate ourselves with those with whom we feel comfortable and relate. The less contact we have with people of different backgrounds and beliefs, the easier it is for us accept the stereotypes. The solution to this syndrome is simple. We must integrate ourselves back into society and interact with everyone with whom we come into contact with the assumption that most people are good, honest folks who are just trying to do what is right for themselves and their families, just as we are. We will run into an occasional idiot or fool, but the more people we get to know the more we will realize that we have a lot more in common than we thought. We all want a better society in which to live and raise a family, but it will only happen if we join together to make it a reality. It won't happen as long as we continue to hurl insults at each other across the chasms that currently divide us.

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By: Kingsley Ukpabi On 03:32

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A Hole in My Heart

Heart sayings:

~take a comment to heart

~feeling a heart connection

~a bleeding heart

~a heart-to-heart

~after my own heart

~absence makes the heart grow fonder

~have a change of heart

~eat your heart out

~a heart of stone; a heart of gold

~coming from the heart

These words don't refer to the heart physiologically, they refer to it in an emotional state which can illustrate our strong relationship between mind and body. While many in the medical community may not put a lot of stock in the strong connection between the physical and emotional, there are lots of metaphysical followers, including me, who do. It is a growing trend to accept just how much our thoughts and emotions significantly affect our physical beings.

Whenever I have a problem, a situation that is causing me grief, I take it to heart. What I do literally is sit in silence, as in meditation, and think of something positive, something that brings me joy. Usually I think about my cat, Kali. When I am feeling love and joy for her, I visualize the heart in my chest begin to open and expand. This hole that begins to widen in my heart contains that love and joy I am feeling. When I'm all comfy with this joy, I take that problem situation or person and plunk it right down in the middle of that hole in my heart. My problem becomes all enveloped in that joy and love. But how does that help me?

With the problem resting in my heart, I begin to see it as an extension of myself, and then I am able to focus on creating compassion for the problem or person. Sometimes I am able to see and understand the reason for whatever happened even if it's some not-so-great behavior on their part. I'm able to objectively see their reasoning even if it resulted in hurting me. I still don't have to be thrilled about it but I quit being upset and traumatized. The second thing that happens is that I am able to get space from the issue... it's put into perspective and that usually lessens its importance in my full and wonderful life. Nothing has happened to change the facts, but I'm calmer and happier. What's better than that?

My heart, not my brain, has created the resolution to my problem. My heart is the brain of my well-being. It's a powerful organ, not just for the love that is created by it and radiated from it but for its ability to 'solve' my problems. I can honestly say I have never 'solved' problems more effectively. Give it a try.

On Valentine's Day, when you look around and see this symbol of love everywhere, begin to think of your heart as a more powerful tool. The event I've shared is just one tiny example of our hearts being at the core of how we think and feel. All the love and positive feelings created by my heart spread throughout my being, and I am made better for it.

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By: Kingsley Ukpabi On 23:57

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Coping With Grief: Healing Through the Sorrow

Grief is the human response to loss and the suffering you feel when you have lost something,or someone, you love. Lost can mean death, as well as simply gone from your life. The more you loved the person or thing that was been taken from you, the greater your grief will be. The most common action associated with grief is the loss of a loved one, but many other things in our lives can cause us to suffer including, relationships, things we take for granted, such as a job or our home, or a dream. It could be caused by a miscarriage, a divorce, or a separation. It could be caused by someone you love being diagnosed with a terminal illness, or the loss of a good friend. Additionally, grief can occur where you wouldn't normally think it would, such as when a pet dies, retirement occurs, your homestead sells, or you move away from home.

It is important to understand that everybody grieves differently. Some things that come into play with how a person grieves are your life experiences, how you were raised, your faith, and your personality. Likewise, there is no "official" time limit on grieving. Some people start to feel better in a few weeks, while others take years to get over a life-changing occurrence. Healing is gradual and is not something that can be controlled or turned off and on, or especially, rushed. It is essential to be patient and allow the grieving process to occur naturally.

Many people tend to believe certain myths about grieving. For instance, some think if you try to ignore your emotional pain, it will eventually go away. That perception can be more harmful than helpful. It's important to deal with your grief by facing it and working through it. Another perception is that you should be strong and face your loss without tears or outward sorrow; this is especially true with men. Feeling sad or afraid is normal. Crying doesn't show weakness; rather, it shows you are a real, caring person. There is no need to put on a brave front. Showing your emotions can help you, and others who are grieving as well, to cope with your loss together. The most popular myth is that grieving lasts about a year. No doubt, you've heard people say that a surviving spouse should not sell anything or do anything out of their normal routine for "a year". The fact is, people grieve differently, and only the person grieving knows when they are ready to move forward.

Grief can take on many forms and many processes when caused by life changes, the death of a loved one, or a breakup of what you thought was a good relationship. Someone who is grieving will likely go through the phases of denial, anger, negotiating, pleading, depression, and finally, acceptance. And many times, just when you think you are ready to accept what has happened, you will revert back to anger or denial or some other stage in the process. There is no right way to go through the stages of grief and healing. It can be best described as a roller coaster ride with highs and lows, ups and downs. As difficult as it may be, all of this is normal.

Although loss affects different people in dramatically different ways, there are common reactions to grief. When you are first informed of a loss, it is normal to feel like you are going to faint, or having a bad dream, that you're going crazy, or you're not able to breathe. Another common reaction is the tendency to question one's religious beliefs. Right after a loss, it is normal to be in shock and to not believe what has happened. You may feel numb or even choose to deny the truth.

Intense sadness is another symptom of grief. You may feel empty or lonely; you might cry unexpectedly, at any given moment, causing you to feel emotionally unstable. You may feel guilty about things you did or did not say or do for the person you lost. You may also feel guilty for being relieved, such as if your pet dies after a long illness, or a friend passes who was suffering from a terminal disease. You may feel blame and be resentful. You may blame yourself for not doing enough for a dying loved one, with God, with the doctors for not saving your loved one, or even with the person who died for leaving you. You may feel afraid or helpless. There are also physical symptoms, such as nausea, fatigue, weight loss, and insomnia.

So, what are the strategies for coping with grief? The most important thing is that you get support from other people. Express yourself and share your feelings. Whether your support comes from family members, friends, neighbors, clergy, or your counselor, accept their help and support. Connecting with other people will help you to heal. Draw strength from your faith. Join a support group. Get in touch with a mental health professional, a therapist, or a grief counselor if you are feeling overwhelmed with your grief. A professional can help you cope and work through your grief.

Be sure to take care of yourself, physically. When you feel good physically, you will also feel good emotionally. Try to beat additional stress by getting enough sleep every night, eating right, and exercising. Never use drugs or alcohol to numb your pain. And it is very important to not let anybody tell you how to feel. Again, everyone grieves differently, so one person cannot tell another person how to cope with grief. Be prepared for things to happen that will remind you of the person or thing you lost. Holidays and birthdays can be especially difficult. Hearing a certain song that was important to you and your lost loved one can trigger emotions.

The sadness of losing a loved one may never go away completely, but it should not be the center of your life forever. If grief causes you to not resume your life as you led it before the loss, you may be clinically depressed. If your life feels meaningless or empty, you are extremely bitter over your loss, you avoid things that remind you of your loved one, you feel hopeless or worthless, you are unable to function at home or work, or you have thoughts of suicide, seek professional help. Let the counselors at Orange County Relationship Center help you heal.

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By: Kingsley Ukpabi On 19:47

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Should You Stay or Go?

So, you have been in a committed relationship for many years, you're bored and have considered ending the relationship and moving on with your life. When determining whether to stay or go, you really need to ask yourself several things before pulling the plug. Why did you enter into the relationship in the first place? Are you looking for love? Do you need financial security? Is your goal to raise a family together? Is your relationship more of a partnership? Do you stay because being with your partner is familiar? Do you think you don't deserve better? None of these reasons are wrong, but if you are considering leaving the relationship, it's important to know why you're there in the first place.

Remember, all relationships hit rough spots; some can be fixed and some cannot. Life is full of choices. We can decide where to live, where to work, and who to marry. So, just as we can move if we don't like where we live, or changes job if we don't like where we work, is it just as simple to change who we love if we feel we have chosen incorrectly? Well, actually, it is easy to get out of a marriage; probably too easy.

People who suddenly become unhappy with their spouses or partners nearly always start thinking about how much happier they would be if they were with someone else. Is the grass always greener on the other side? Definitely not. Would the grass be greener if I married my high school sweetheart? Definitely not. Would the grass appear to be greener with somebody else right now since I don't feel particularly happy with my current partner? Absolutely. Should I go? No one can make that decision for us and before you do, here are a few things to keep in mind.

You made a commitment and (if you are married) took a vow to remain with your spouse forever.Finding someone else may make the grass appear to be greener on the other side because of the hormones felt during the beginning of an attraction. Remember, those feelings are more lust than love.Every relationship has problems and issues that need to, and usually can, be worked through.

Consider that basically, there are only a few types of problems. You need to know the type of problem you are having and whether you can work through it (or if you're willing to work through it). There are one-time problems that are easily solved; cyclical problems that will never go away, such as emotional needs; deal-breaker issues when one partner can't live with something; and wounding problems that will cause one partner to disengage over time.

If your relationship is fairly new, you are probably still in the lusting stage. If things have already gone awry so early in the relationship, you should probably go. You haven't even hit the "love" stage yet and if there are already problems in the "lust" stage, this relationship may not be meant for the long term. If you have moved in with your partner, you may be noticing traits you've never seen before. Maybe your significant other talks down to you and treats you like a child. Maybe there is always an argument about every little decision, such as the color of curtains or the type of dish detergent you use.

There are a lot of things you may not know about your partner until you move forward, in time, with your relationship. However, it's good to know these things before you commit to a long-term relationship. Being attracted to somebody, physically, is a different ball game than committing to them for life, especially if you find they are picky, selfish, and have no respect or regard for you and your preferences. Small issues can be resolved with improved communication skills; however, it is foolish to think you can change somebody's core beliefs and values. Never stay with somebody if you only have great sexual chemistry and nothing else. Sexual chemistry is a good thing; however, if you cannot trust this person as well, how will your future be down the road several years from now?

Consider the following things before making your decision to stay or to go.

Do you and your partner communicate to resolve conflicts, or do you just ignore disagreements?Think about the consequences that come with ending your relationship. If your partner has ever told you, "Don't even think about leaving me," or anything similar to that, plan your exit before telling your partner you are leaving.Imagine your life without your partner. Does that give you a sense of relief or a sense of sadness?Have you remained true to yourself or have you given up everything you possibly could give up to keep your partner happy without receiving anything from your partner that you need?

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By: Kingsley Ukpabi On 15:43

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Is She Mrs Right?

 

For centuries now, or at least for as long as tabloids have been in existence, a copious amount of pages have been dedicated to the failed romances of celebrity couples. Some married for years, some for months and some for only days. This poses a scary question: if famous people can't choose a spouse, how on earth are we expected to?

It is of primary importance when planning how to propose that you don't go beyond your means when choosing a ring, but also that the woman you are proposing to is the right one for you. There is nothing worse than dragging yourself through proposal ideas, intricate wedding plans, flower arrangement selections and table centre pieces, only to end up divorced a few years down the line. In fact, it may surprise you to know that the divorce rates for first marriages is 50%, rising to 67% for second marriages and those who believe in the 'third time lucky' mantra get divorced an average of 74%. So how do you ensure you don't end up wifeless and divorced? Well, you follow our checklist, of course, and as we all know, there is nothing in life that cannot be determined through a 'tongue in cheek' list.

First on the list is: Does History repeat itself?

We have all done things we regret, maybe in our youth or that night we were particularly inebriated at the office party, but it is important not to simply gloss over chapters in your partner's previous life that cause you concern. You shouldn't judge a person on their past; however, it is important to assess what it is that bothers you and decide whether your marriage could survive a similar scenario in the future. In this case, it is best to remember that old habits die hard, so you need to really decide whether you can deal with these habits in the long-term or whether the behaviours have been left in that particular period.

Second for your consideration is: Is it here and now, but not later?

This section is really asking you to consider whether she has the qualities of a lifelong mate, or whether you are being dazzled by the way her skirt swishes? Certain qualities that you love in your partner may be temporary; that is, that they dampen or fade away with age. Examples of such temporary qualities would include that you love how she wants to go out all night dancing (she will not want to do this in her 70s as slippers and arthritis do not lend themselves to R'n'B music) or how she always ensures she's got something new to show off in the bedroom. At the other side of the spectrum is where the qualities such as caring, honesty, and faithfulness sit. It is important to project all qualities into the future and think, will this die out or will I be able to handle her love of vodka when we're 50?

The third question you should ask yourself is: Are you infatuated by the can do's and the will do's?

We all have big plans for the future: some of us want to become the CEO of law firms, some want to become bestselling authors, and some, well, some just never grow out of wanting to become astronauts. There isn't anything wrong with dreaming big, but it is important to realise that dreams do not always come true. Will you be just as appreciative of your partner if she doesn't turn out to be the next super model? It is important to ground yourself when deciding on your life partner; you need to marry her as the person who stands in front of you and not the high-flying fashion editor that she could be. Admire the passion, because that is a life quality, but don't attach yourself to a future that may not come to fruition.

Lastly but some may say most importantly: Is there enough sizzle?

It is all very well to be realistic and grounded about the future. However, primarily, if there is no spark before you embark on your life journey together, then the likelihood is it won't work. That is, of course, unless you have resigned yourself to a mediocre marriage. It is easy to forget the matters of the heart when deciding whether and how to propose and instead get caught up only in the practical details. The 'spark' obviously depends on the relationship's specifics: a couple who have been together for seven years before getting engaged are not going to have the same spark as a couple who have been together nine months. However, those primal urges should still crop up at least every now and again, as the psychologist Lombardo explained: "Great sex won't make problems go away, but it can really cushion your relationship during the inevitable tough times."

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By: Kingsley Ukpabi On 11:18

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Dating Tips For The Timid

There are some timid, shy people around which have difficulties to make an open chat with new singles, they typically need additional time to adjust to the situation. An uncomplicated convenient answer for them might be to go out on a first date to the movies hence to get used to the presence of the new date, without the obligation to talk. When you come out, you might talk about the movie you Just both watched.

An additional notion, if you’re shy about making a chat, is to ask your date on herself. It’ll serve to show that you’re interested in learning about her, as well as remove part of the pressure of talking, off you, until you’re more comfort. By making them do the to talk you may feel less stressed and eventually you will relax adequatly to talk about yourself.

Last point, take into account that Most humans love to talk mainly all about their life, actually, what they would like most is someone that would hear them attentively, therefore if you are a good listener you will find A lot of people feel most at ease with you.

Remember, you should do anythging you can to put your shyness in the corner, otherwise it will put you in the corner…

By: Kingsley Ukpabi On 02:09

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Dating Lessons In Love

Are you on the look out for a boyfriend/girlfriend? Have you been single for a while? Have you somebody in mind who you would like to go on a date with? A few years ago I thought that I knew what my ideal partner or girlfriend would look and be like. I was however about to learn a very valuable lesson of which I will write about in this article.

I am quite short for a male and always prefer to date women who are smaller than I am. This however counts quite a lot of them out. I also like women who are very down to earth and who are quite relaxed about life, not too into themselves for example. I also prefer them to be brunette with a nice smile and attractive eyes, a slim figure would also be a bonus.

What I have just described is what I believed to be my perfect girlfriend. This whole notion was blown out of the water around ten years when I had to work on a project at work with a woman called Sam. She was about ten years older than I was and I will never forget what my first impressions of her were. What a mess, I thought. She had made no effort with her appearance, had not even brushed her hair it seemed, she dressed as if she was twenty years older than she actually was and basically looked like she had not slept the night before.

This may seem quite cruel and harsh, this is what I used to be like back then, I am ashamed to think about how my mind used to work. I am happy however that I have now changed to be what I hope is a nicer person.

Despite these first impressions I have to say that Sam was so nice and helpful to me over the next three months. She is probably one of the kindest and purest people I have ever met.

After about ten weeks of first meeting Sam, I started to dream about her and I think I fell in love with her. She had not suddenly made an effort with her appearance, still looked a mess etc. The fact was it did not matter to me anymore, it was what was inside that counted.

I never ever admitted to Sam how I felt as she was married, I think her husband is one of the luckiest men alive.

Thanks Sam for teaching me a very important lesson in love.

Copied with permission from: http://plrplr.com/12655/dating-lessons-in-love/

By: Kingsley Ukpabi On 13:00

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The Best Dates Are Free

Perhaps the best things in life are free. Looking back, the best dates I ever went on didn’t cost much or anything at all.

Traditional dating can be expensive; dinner, which can easily cost $40 or more. Follow that with a movie, which can run another $40 if you buy popcorn, drinks and candy. Suddenly you are close to a hundred dollar evening, and before you know it, all of your extra money for the month has been spent on a date.

Yet it doesn’t have to cost so much. The best thing is that often, romance can be free. An afternoon spent hiking. Having a nice quiet picnic at a park or lake, an afternoon stroll through the forest; All wonderful dates, and they only cost you time.

Here are some more ideas:

An evening spent quietly at home. Cook your favorite dish or make it an adventure and try all new recipes. Watch movies, play a board game or a bottle of wine and the starry night sky.

Visit a local festival or art fair. Many towns and communities have local events, especially in the summer. It’s a good opportunity to experience good food, entertainment and the outdoors.

Go camping. Most campgrounds offer free setups for tents. Spend the evening under the stars. Make smores and relax by the fire. Listen to the crickets. Often the best dates are those that you spend a lot of thought on not money. Anyone can spend money on dinner and a movie, and yet it is truly unique for someone to make a date to go to the farmer’s market and pick out fresh produce for dinner.

First dates at times can be a little tense. Exchange the usual first-date feelings with a more relaxed atmosphere. Instead of the same old Friday or Saturday night first date, try instead a Sunday afternoon stroll through the park! Saturday afternoon ball games work just as well. Ask yourself how you can take the formality out of the situation. Always make sure that you look for activities where you can get to know each other — that’s what first dates are all about.

There are an endless amount of possibilities. Once you get to know her, you will find many different inexpensive date ideas. Even married couples can take advantage of frugal dating.

A date is much more than a dinner; it is spending time getting to know her. When you take the time to find unique ways to spend time together, that time becomes special. You could try something new every time with her or do the same thing every weekend. What really matters isn’t the money you spend, it’s the time. Have fun!

By: Kingsley Ukpabi On 10:42

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How Can You Tell When You Have Found The Right Person

Love is such a wonderful thing that when shared by two people, the feelings become mutual and the gratifications achieved. All of these are established during the start of dating.

Dating becomes the primary selection ground for people who wish to end up with somebody they can grow old with. It provides them the means to find the right person whom they can share their sentiments, their feelings, problems, etc.

Normally, the stages of dating illustrate continuous experiences. As the couple proceeds on the next level, they get to know another chapter in their mate’s life.

However, even if it seems that two people are already mutual with regards to their feelings, there are instances that one of them would ask if their mate is the right person for them. They can feel that they are happy as of the moment but when the concept of finding the right person sinks in; a lot of questions take place.

Even if everything seems to be in perfect condition and that dates are always pleasurable and gratifying, no one can be sure if his or her mate is the right person unless he or she will make extra effort to analyze the situation and the person he or she is currently involved with.

So, for people who wish to know if the person they are dating right now is the right person or if what they are doing is right or wrong, here are some tips on how to identify the real score of the person they are dealing with.

1. It would be better for an individual to assess his or her feelings about the other person.

In order to know if an individual has already found the right person, it is best to assess their feelings towards the other person.

For example, an individual should try to identify the other person’s qualities. These qualities that can usually be seen everyday with the person would mean that these are the same qualities that the concerned individual has to deal with.

Hence, it would be better to assess if the concerned individual likes what he or she is seeing or if they can tolerate the personality of the other person.

In the event that the other person has some qualities that are not that desirable, it would be better for the individual to be sure of their feelings about the unlikely behavior. If they think that they can withstand and endure those things even if it will not change, chances are, they have found the right person.

The other person may not literally be righteous but the fact that the concerned individual can accept whatever the other person is, then, it must be love.

2. If the concerned person will get to accept the other person’s faults or shortcomings not because of some hopes that someday he or she will change, then, it must be the right person.

One should realize that accepting somebody should never be conditional. This means that when a person accepts someone who has qualities not included in his or her concept of an ideal mate, he or she should not pose some conditions or expects something regarding future changes.

Because if this is the basis of acceptance, chances are, the concerned individual will only be disappointed in the future and will only make matters worst.

3. If there are no obstacles that will in time kill the flame of love, then, it must be the right person.

If in the event that an individual finds somebody and they feel that the relationship is finally the real thing, it would still be better to assess if there will be no more impediments that would curb the growth of a wonderful relationship.

This simply means that the person should be sure that there will be no elements or factors that will trigger some problems on their relationship in the future like vices, addiction, family problems, previous relationships, etc.

If the coast is clear, then, the concerned person had finally found his or her right mate and that in time the relationship will flourish and be successful.

All of these things are boiled down to the fact that love is not 100% perfect. People should realize that there are no such things as perfect people. As humans, people are susceptible to mistakes, imperfections, flaws, and whatever weaknesses man is destined to entail in his or her personality.

So, the best thing to use when identifying the right person is careful analysis of the individual as a whole and not just the physical attributes where substantial attraction is usually based from.

Copied with permission from: http://plrplr.com/12647/how-can-you-tell-when-you-have-found-the-right-person/

By: Kingsley Ukpabi On 05:14

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What To Talk About On A Date

I’m sure you want your date to have fun and you want to have fun, too! You want to ensure that the conversation is interesting and stimulating to both of you.

Body language always speaks first in any conversation. When you are confident your body relaxes, becomes more open, you lean in, you smile, and you become more animated. When you are tense or not at ease with yourself, you will be sitting back, crossing your legs, maybe your arms, your mouth will barely break a smile, and your eyes will be searching elsewhere in the room. Knowing this will allow you to convey confidence with your body language.

Your verbal dating conversation skills will largely be judged on how able you are to create a conversation that your partner enjoys. Ultimately, that leads to you getting more dates. If you’re thinking this is obvious, yes it is! The question is HOW to create an interesting conversation.

Your dating conversation will be made up of you both asking and answering questions. If you ask the right questions, your partner is going to have fun. If you ask the wrong questions, they are going to ditch you. If you are evasive or less than honest when answering her questions, she is going to ditch you quicker.

Questions are powerful. Funny thing is that when a person is asked a direct question they somehow feel obligated to answer it. Here are some conversation starter question ideas for your first date:

“What do you love to do in your spare time?”

“What do you particularly enjoy about that?”

“If you could go on a fantasy holiday, anywhere in the world, where would it be and what would you do?”

By asking these questions you will cause your date to recall pleasant past experiences and share them with you.

By: Kingsley Ukpabi On 14:47

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Internet Dating Safety Tips

Anyone who has ever heard of the Internet, whether they have used an Internet dating service or not, is well aware of some of the dangers that dating over the World Wide Web can pose. The fact is, if you Internet dating can actually be a more rewarding experience than dating out in the “real world”, and you may even be more insulated from a negative experience on the Internet that you would be in a face to face situation. The Internet offers several screening experiences that are simply not possible when dating face-to-face, and using these opportunities to your advantage can result in an extremely successful online dating experience.

In order to remain safe on the online dating site, start off your experience with each prospective date with caution. I recommend a step-by-step elevation process. Begin your search through the use of a screen name that others will address you as when they wish to contact you. Progressing to first names is not too big a step, but giving out your last name certainly is- do not do it until you have spent a reasonable amount of time talking to the other person and have a feel for the kind of person they are. Set up a separate email account for communicating with potential dates, and never give out any personal information on the first communications. If you feel the other person is pressing you for this information, be prepared to stop communication (if they are pressuring you on something like this already, the odds are good that you will face further pressures if you establish a relationship anyway).

Pay a lot of attention to what the other person is saying, and make sure to register any comments they make that are suspicious or contradictory as you talk. Don’t rush into anything- you don’t have to meet until you are both comfortable. As you chat, you will both need to establish a direct and forthright rapport with each other, in order to establish the trust which is necessary for a face-to-face meeting (this is one of the unique aspects of Internet dating- the foundation of trust is already there before you have even really met, therefore if it all seems to be working out you are several steps ahead of where you would be if you had met in the flesh initially).

Some hard evidence is always good to establish some trust and a deepening of the relationship. Request a photo, and be prepared to reciprocate. It can be daunting to send that photo, but if the goal is to meet eventually then you are going to see each other sooner or later anyway.

Finally, when it comes time to meet, make sure it is in a highly visible area, with many other people around. Don’t be too private on the first date- dinner at a restaurant, a movie in a theater- something with plenty of other people around as you get to really know the person.

Internet dating is growing in popularity and can be a great way to find and establish a great relationship. The mantra “there are a lot of weirdos out there” certainly rings true, but the simple fact is that this is also true in “real” life. Exercising some additional caution in Internet dating will ensure that you have safe experiences, although just like in real life they may not always bear fruit.

By: Kingsley Ukpabi On 03:56

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Dating Secret For Men To Attract Women

I am going to let you in on a little secret that not to many men want to talk about when it comes to your problems attracting and being with beautiful high quality women.

It is your own fault and it’s all in your mind.

If you’re a man who either doesn’t know how to get beautiful women, keep beautiful women, or be happy with the beautiful woman in your life. Then you need to work on your inner game right now.

Fixing your inner-game isn’t going to happen overnight, imagine your brain is an information Highway and right now for whatever reason the life you have had led you to the Belief “I am NOT Worthy”.

It had become a part of your life and unconsciously you began to build and had let others build more and more “Highways” leading to “I am NOT worthy.”

What if after reading this you are beginning to realize that you need to create a highway towards the cities of “I am WORTHY” and “I am MORE than I Know I AM.”

However, just like Rome was not built in a day, neither will your own Highway to the “Great Cities.”

Yet even though you realize that to build your highways to these great cities will take time I want you to imagine right now what it will be like when you find yourself on the highway and have begun to enter the City of “I am WORTHY” roll down your window and feel the breeze upon your face is it cool or warm?

Take a deep breath and allow the aroma of “I am WORTHY” to encompass your entire body and see just exactly what it is as you hear “I am WORTHY” say welcome and enjoy.

Now use this as motivation and if you need help building your highway to the “Great Cities” know that’s what I am here for.

By: Kingsley Ukpabi On 13:08

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Waiting To Meet Ms Perfect

 It must be really tough. Do you think you are just a victim of bad luck and that’s the reason Ms. Perfect hasn’t appeared in your life yet? Or have you decided that maybe Ms. Perfect only exists on movie screens and not out here in the real world? BINGO! You’ve got it. She doesn’t exist anywhere except in your imagination and on movie screens.

The truth of the matter is that the reason Ms. Perfect hasn’t appeared has nothing to do with your luck, good or bad, but everything to do with you and the fact that you are busy looking for a person that doesn’t exist! You can’t date with your eyes closed and some impossible dream in your head. You’ll get so caught up in this whole exercise of dating that you forget to look for the qualities you seek! You haven’t met the person of your dreams because you aren’t looking for the things that will make them close enough to perfect for you.

You are so confident that every woman you have met could not give you what you wanted. But what was it that you wanted in the first place? Once you are sure of what you want, you will know exactly what to look for in your woman. What are the qualities that you feel are necessary in a person? What are the attributes you are willing to make a compromise on? Have you thought about all these?

Remember, that nobody on this earth is perfect. Everybody has faults…some are bigger faults than other faults. Some are faults you can overlook and some are faults that you couldn’t overlook on your best day and if she was the most beautiful, most sexy woman on the planet.

When you meet a woman, remember, however hard you try to impress others, you cannot control their thought processes. Instead, it’s far better to concentrate on your needs and desires, and how much of what you need would be fulfilled if you dated this woman.

By: Kingsley Ukpabi On 19:19

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Setting The Mood With Your Date

Nothing makes for a more romantic gesture than one that is made purely for the sake of romance itself. When it comes to seducing a woman if you want to make a really great impression on us then you’ll want to pull out all the stops and create a romantic date without waiting for a special occasion. Not to mention there’s no rule that says you have to wait for a certain day or time.

This particular tip requires knowing a bit about your lady and what she likes and doesn’t like. But you don’t have to know her like the back of your hand in order to make a truly romantic evening for the two of you to share. The most important thing is to consider what you know she finds romantic and then do your best to create that for her. The very fact that you thought of her and wanted to romance her out of the blue will really impress her and make her feel truly special.

Many of these suggestions would take relatively little time for preparation. Remember, it’s sometimes the smallest gesture that will really make a woman feel special. The first romantic setting is a candlelit picnic in a park or other quiet location. This is sure to make your lady feel special. There’s no special occasion needed. This is also easy to put together with a bottle of wine, some cheese, strawberries, whatever the two of you like.

If you have a portable CD player you can bring that along with a disc of romantic music and you’ll have an evening that the both of you are sure to remember. Just don’t forget to check the weather and be sure to bring the blanket!

The next suggestion I have is good for any weather, a nice candlelit meal consisting of her favorite foods and dessert at your place. When you’re planning this evening be sure to have soft, romantic music on and a nice bottle of wine. Her favorite flowers would be an extra nice touch. This meal could be prepared by you or ordered and picked up from a restaurant.

As long as you’ve taken care to choose what she likes it’s sure to be a huge hit! If your place tends to be a bit messy, be sure to take the extra bit of time to clean it up so that she’s not tripping over your tennis shoes or gym bag.

Copied with permission from: http://plrplr.com/47691/setting-the-mood-with-your-date/

By: Kingsley Ukpabi On 19:09

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