How To Make A Girl Fall In Love With You

Let’s get started. Getting a girl of your dreams is much like getting the car of your dream. But unlike a car which you can always bargain for, there is nothing like a 20 percent discount in courting the girl of your dreams, she’s so sweet a thing to be discounted, you dearly are in love with her and your feelings for her can only be communicated not by the words of the mouth, but by the words of the heart. Getting the girl actually depends on how big your heart is – faint heart, never won fair lady.

The first dating idea for any man is to make a good impression. In your doing so, you don’t have to talk, dress or do the common things that all the Toms do to get a decent girl’s attention. Be unique, that’s all you need. Be a man of his own style. Dress decently – indecency can make one be mistaken for arrogance; watch your language – obscene language gives the impression of immaturity, being uncultured and cheap; be a man of good habits – don’t drink or smoke like any other loser.

How to make her fall in love with you? Take your time. Add some romance to your dating style. When in College I had a crush on the most beautiful lady in our first year lot. Though all senior guys were out to get that girl, I managed to divert her attention from the other guys. I wrote her three letters without disclosing my identity and slid into her room secretly; all I said was ‘Yours Secret Admirer.’ The first letter contained the meaning of her name, this I got by playing around with the initials of her name to make meaning. The second was a funny message that could only be read backwards and it was all about her physique and her smartness. In the third letter I told the girl to be ready to receive a rose flower from her admirer, but only if she could be kind enough to phone him using a number that I had included in the letter. The girl did phone me that very night, and her first words to me were, “Hallo Secret Admirer.” So, the story of our love affair came to be. Later she told me that was so creative of me, no one had approached her in that manner. I made her fall in love with me and made a date in the romantic manner.

Befriending and understanding the girl you are out to get is the next important thing. This is what I also did. You have to understand that as a lady, she loves to be loved, adores to be adored and needs to be needed. This will move you closer to the girl and you’ll get to know what she’s into, what she likes and dislikes, and what her style is. Love is built upon friendship and it always leaves individuals better off having known each other should they break up. I and my College steady were to break some time later but to date, we are the best of buddies. Be sure that bringing out the selflessness friend in you will make her create room for you in her heart.

A shoulder to lean on and some good friend that she can always turn to is all that a lady wants. Please don’t hesitate to be helpful and supportive. Be that friend who rekindles her zeal of hardworking and restoring hope back into her life when she looses hope. This above all other things will make you her daily vitamin simply because you bring out the best in her in terms of personality and character. In you, she’ll have found that friend whom she can open up to, share with and advice each other on the rights and wrongs, the dos and don’ts of life. Don’t forget to always be there to celebrate the good times, and to lend an ear when the girl needs you to listen as a friend.

Make the girl feel special; because she’s someone’s friend – your friend, and let her know that she too has touched your life in a unique way like no one else could. Compliment her for her company and for being there when you needed her, when you felt sad and all alone. Show appreciations for the comfort the girl offers you and for making you smile.

In your day to day talks, share your dreams, your world, and every aspect of your life with your girl. Always dream with her, build with her, and always cheer her on and encourage her. Tell your girl how you always think about her even when you try not to think about her. Let the girl know that she’s your first thing in the morning and the last thing when you go to bed at night.

Her knowing that you were thinking of her when you slipped beneath the softness of your blanket and gave in to the bliss of sweet dreams, will make her go ‘my my’ and her heart will sing your name all the year round.

You have to be creative and constructive to keep girl’s interest in you so full of life. I remember one time I told my girlfriend to be to imagine we are both deaf and dump. We then sat opposite each other on the table and started sharing our feelings for each other using eyes and hand signs. It turned out to be some fun. There was also this time that we were in the library and we decided we are not going to speak to each other verbal, so I wrote a love note on a paper and passed it across the table to her, she replied and on and on we carried on our love on paper conversation till we almost exhausted a whole rim of paper. At sometime, I noticed that some guys sited with us on the table were enjoying our ordeal than their studies. Such are the things that made the girl embrace my world. I remember her suggesting that we play deaf and dump two years after we broke up, can you imagine that?

Never fail to phone her, even when she least expects it. I once called some girl that I was interested in at four o’clock in the morning. When inquiring of what I was doing up so early, I told her I was in thirteenth heaven, where people think of their loved ones when they can’t sleep. Wow! First thing early the next morning, she was at my door with a king-sized hug for me. No matter how many dates you take her, don’t make any elbow – exceeding moves after any date, just drop her home and with a friendly handshake, wish her good night. Don’t kiss her when she expects you to. Your respect as a gentleman will be earned on how patient you are with her when it comes to such matters as kissing her and accessing her inner graces.

The writing is on the wall that you want her, but you can’t have her just yet. Increase your demand. Try to show her that men are also hard to get at times. Make her realize that when she feels a little dizzy, a little tired, a little sad, a little sick, a lot bored and very much cold, she’s actually missing vitamin you. By this time, she’ll be so much into you and since love is truthful and is characterized by open and honest communication, honestly promise her your everlasting devotion, loyalty, respect, and your unconditional love for a lifetime. Prove to her that you’ll always be there for her, to listen and to hold her hand, and that you’ll always do your best to make her happy, and feel loved.

Remember, patience is the key to her heart; be like that gardener watching a fruit as it hangs on the tree, day after day admiring it, but, exercising tremendous self-discipline, neither feeling the fruit, nor pinching it, nor testing it to see if it is ready. And then, one day he holds out his hand and the fruit simply drops into it, ripe, warm and eager to be eaten.

The patience and self-control which you practice will make you more attractive and charming. This will qualify you as her daily vitamin and win you that heart hers.

I wish you to meet the girl of your dreams ASAP, make her fall in love with you, and make her feel the happiest girl in the world!

By: Kingsley Ukpabi On 11:29

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Online Dating Options For Whatever You Desire

As the proliferation of internet access across the country reaches an all-time high, it has become increasingly evident that, regardless of what it is that you’re searching for, you can probably find it online. Products and services of all shapes and sizes can be found online, and even things that are not easily obtainable locally can be found with minimal effort on the internet. Ease and convenience has reached a new high, one unimaginable even ten years ago.

While not exactly a “consumer product,” per se, the dating scene has seen a similar benefit from the influx of online access. One key aspect that has been aided by online dating is the specification, so to speak, of dating options. Regardless of what it is that you’re looking for from a mate, chances are good that you will be able to find it online. 

Perhaps you have heard commercials on the radio or seen several on TV about some of the more “serious” dating service websites. They highlight several individuals and couples who have experienced success and even marriage whilst using the website, and they promise to do the same for you. Whether or not the services offered actually work is up for debate, but the more important aspect of them lies elsewhere. The message that is conveyed by the commercials is that, for many people, the uncertainty and casualness of the bar and the nightclub scene has lost its draw, and that people are genuinely searching for solutions elsewhere. There are a myriad of websites out there that promise to find you the perfect mate, but more importantly they evidence that more and more people are seeing the internet as a legitimate serious dating channel.

Obviously, not everybody interested in online dating is looking for their future spouse. Even for those searching for much more casual relationships, it is probably that online dating offers a solution for them. A quick search online will find countless casual dating sites, and further inspection of the sites reveals that they can be quite specialized, indeed. Whatever your preference, be it orientation, fetishes, or simply specific interests, there is somebody else out there that shares it. In this respect, the internet has succeeded in making the world much smaller; whereas you might not have been able to find a person that shared certain interests in a lifetime twenty years ago, today they are easily located with a few clicks of the mouse.

While online dating may have been viewed as a “last resort” several years ago, it has recently become an increasingly viable option for many people. The truth is that much of the populace is simply fed up, disheartened, or frustrated by traditional dating channels. The bar and the nightclub scenes are simply not for everybody, and the places that people frequent are often not the ones in which they can the type of partner that they are looking for. Online dating has succeeded in offering more viable romantic options than people have ever had previously.

By: Kingsley Ukpabi On 03:44

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That's A Wrap - Living Life Large!

As we all process what we would like to achieve and gain in this journey called life, it is essential that we stop and take stock honestly of where we have been, where the road turned and caused us to miss an important step and what prevents us from finding that still small space within us where we can reorient, revive and refresh our spirits.

You may be surprised to learn you have somehow surrounded yourself with a partner, spouse or friend who is too needy or controlling to allow you this rightful space to regenerate.

If this is the case, you will note that they are the ones requiring all of these things most of the time. There is simply never time for you. You cannot continue a successful journey without removing this roadblock from your path.

That is dangerous. This kind of thinking enslaves us to someone else's dream which may become your nightmare.

Uncontrolled emotions are also dangerous; yours or theirs.

You exist in the vehicle you chose to travel across the great river of life in. You are in a leaky boat for the journey if your emotions control you. There is a time for emotions; it is not decision time about people, places or important things.

This is vitally important to the success of your journey. Uncontrolled emotions, or leaky containers, account for the constant loss of jobs, homes, relationships and all the things that are a part of our everyday life. It is that important to gain control and then think with your head only from that time forward. You feel with your heart after the decision making is completed.

Spend some quiet time alone getting comfortable in your own skin. Learn to love the person you are, as you are. You are a perfect image created in God's likeness. Does this necessarily mean He looks like you? More likely, he is a part of you that cannot be separated. When you weep, He weeps. He is the expression of the very best that you can be, the highest level of mastery you can attain in your lifetime, all expressed in and through you! No wonder you're a miracle; that is heady stuff.

Embrace your mistakes; they are the best evidence of higher learning in your personal history book. Acknowledge them, claim them and own the lessons you gained from them.

Lose your fear; our Creator did not instill this in us. It is the tool of evil doers who seek to enslave you to their misery.

Dare to have faith and dare to dream big.

Don't limit your good by assuming that you have to know how to reach your goal. Just set it and let your much more powerful subconscious mind tend to the how part of it. If you are not bound to the how of it, you are free to reach much higher in personal fulfillment and joy in this journey.

Vow to never allow the pursuit of material things to enslave you to a place of existence that does not truly being you joy. Spiritual journeys are often derailed by the pursuit of material things. Put them in proper perspective.

Breathe deeply' say thank you many times a day to the universe and to your Creator for the multitude of blessings we take for granted.

Become a seasoned traveler; recognize the signs, stop for small pleasures, leave a light footprint and embrace all the joy you can hold; then spread it around.

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By: Kingsley Ukpabi On 07:08

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The Exception to the Rule

I have discovered a phenomenon that I call the "Exception to the Rule Syndrome". It happens when we accept a stereotype and then meet someone who does not fit that stereotype.

A good friend of mine from my days in pest control befriended me on Face-Book. We had never discussed politics or religion so I think it surprised him to find out I am politically conservative and a devout Christian, just as I was surprised to find out he is a far left progressive who left the Catholic church years ago. When I respectfully disagreed with one of the President's policies on his time line I received several hateful responses from his progressive friends calling me a Nazi and a racist, among other things. He defended me stating he knows personally and that I am a good guy and not a racist (like all of the other conservatives). I then became the exception to the rule even though I have a multitude of conservative friends on and off Face-Book not one of whom is a racist, even the Tea Party Patriots. Those progressives would rather continue in their prejudice against all conservatives than to admit that most of us are not racist even though we do disagree with the policies our current President, regardless of his race.

On the other hand, conservatives tend to think all liberals are "baby killers" because or their support for abortion up to and during birth. When they encounter a liberal who thinks abortion should be limited to early in the first trimester except when the mother's life is at risk, they automatically categorize them as an exception rather than accept that many, if not most, liberals oppose late term or partial birth abortions for a reason other than to save the mother's life.

I first encountered the exception syndrome when I was a pest management trainer and I was asked to fill in for a sick technician in the far northwest suburbs of Chicago. The area was new to me but I was happy help. One commercial customer on that route was a tavern in a small town. I introduced myself and began to perform the service. They had Oprah on TV and the customers and bar owner were making derogatory comments. I had never heard the "N" word used that often or that vehemently even growing up in the fifties and sixties in southern Indiana. Knowing that the regular technician was black, I wondered how in the world he could put up with such a hostile environment. In between expletives the owner pointed out where Willie usually treats and reminded me to go down in the cellar like Willie always does. As the owner was signing my service ticket he asked if Willie would be back next month and I told him that he should be. He was very pleased and couldn't stop praising Willie and his good work. Even one of the customers chimed in, "He is a good guy." That technician was obviously the only black person with whom they had personal contact. As they got to know him they saw he didn't fit their racial stereotype. Rather than set aside their prejudice they simply decided he must be an "exception to the rule".

In recent years our society has become more and more divided along religious, political, racial and ethnic lines. We tend to segregate ourselves with those with whom we feel comfortable and relate. The less contact we have with people of different backgrounds and beliefs, the easier it is for us accept the stereotypes. The solution to this syndrome is simple. We must integrate ourselves back into society and interact with everyone with whom we come into contact with the assumption that most people are good, honest folks who are just trying to do what is right for themselves and their families, just as we are. We will run into an occasional idiot or fool, but the more people we get to know the more we will realize that we have a lot more in common than we thought. We all want a better society in which to live and raise a family, but it will only happen if we join together to make it a reality. It won't happen as long as we continue to hurl insults at each other across the chasms that currently divide us.

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By: Kingsley Ukpabi On 03:32

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A Hole in My Heart

Heart sayings:

~take a comment to heart

~feeling a heart connection

~a bleeding heart

~a heart-to-heart

~after my own heart

~absence makes the heart grow fonder

~have a change of heart

~eat your heart out

~a heart of stone; a heart of gold

~coming from the heart

These words don't refer to the heart physiologically, they refer to it in an emotional state which can illustrate our strong relationship between mind and body. While many in the medical community may not put a lot of stock in the strong connection between the physical and emotional, there are lots of metaphysical followers, including me, who do. It is a growing trend to accept just how much our thoughts and emotions significantly affect our physical beings.

Whenever I have a problem, a situation that is causing me grief, I take it to heart. What I do literally is sit in silence, as in meditation, and think of something positive, something that brings me joy. Usually I think about my cat, Kali. When I am feeling love and joy for her, I visualize the heart in my chest begin to open and expand. This hole that begins to widen in my heart contains that love and joy I am feeling. When I'm all comfy with this joy, I take that problem situation or person and plunk it right down in the middle of that hole in my heart. My problem becomes all enveloped in that joy and love. But how does that help me?

With the problem resting in my heart, I begin to see it as an extension of myself, and then I am able to focus on creating compassion for the problem or person. Sometimes I am able to see and understand the reason for whatever happened even if it's some not-so-great behavior on their part. I'm able to objectively see their reasoning even if it resulted in hurting me. I still don't have to be thrilled about it but I quit being upset and traumatized. The second thing that happens is that I am able to get space from the issue... it's put into perspective and that usually lessens its importance in my full and wonderful life. Nothing has happened to change the facts, but I'm calmer and happier. What's better than that?

My heart, not my brain, has created the resolution to my problem. My heart is the brain of my well-being. It's a powerful organ, not just for the love that is created by it and radiated from it but for its ability to 'solve' my problems. I can honestly say I have never 'solved' problems more effectively. Give it a try.

On Valentine's Day, when you look around and see this symbol of love everywhere, begin to think of your heart as a more powerful tool. The event I've shared is just one tiny example of our hearts being at the core of how we think and feel. All the love and positive feelings created by my heart spread throughout my being, and I am made better for it.

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By: Kingsley Ukpabi On 23:57

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Coping With Grief: Healing Through the Sorrow

Grief is the human response to loss and the suffering you feel when you have lost something,or someone, you love. Lost can mean death, as well as simply gone from your life. The more you loved the person or thing that was been taken from you, the greater your grief will be. The most common action associated with grief is the loss of a loved one, but many other things in our lives can cause us to suffer including, relationships, things we take for granted, such as a job or our home, or a dream. It could be caused by a miscarriage, a divorce, or a separation. It could be caused by someone you love being diagnosed with a terminal illness, or the loss of a good friend. Additionally, grief can occur where you wouldn't normally think it would, such as when a pet dies, retirement occurs, your homestead sells, or you move away from home.

It is important to understand that everybody grieves differently. Some things that come into play with how a person grieves are your life experiences, how you were raised, your faith, and your personality. Likewise, there is no "official" time limit on grieving. Some people start to feel better in a few weeks, while others take years to get over a life-changing occurrence. Healing is gradual and is not something that can be controlled or turned off and on, or especially, rushed. It is essential to be patient and allow the grieving process to occur naturally.

Many people tend to believe certain myths about grieving. For instance, some think if you try to ignore your emotional pain, it will eventually go away. That perception can be more harmful than helpful. It's important to deal with your grief by facing it and working through it. Another perception is that you should be strong and face your loss without tears or outward sorrow; this is especially true with men. Feeling sad or afraid is normal. Crying doesn't show weakness; rather, it shows you are a real, caring person. There is no need to put on a brave front. Showing your emotions can help you, and others who are grieving as well, to cope with your loss together. The most popular myth is that grieving lasts about a year. No doubt, you've heard people say that a surviving spouse should not sell anything or do anything out of their normal routine for "a year". The fact is, people grieve differently, and only the person grieving knows when they are ready to move forward.

Grief can take on many forms and many processes when caused by life changes, the death of a loved one, or a breakup of what you thought was a good relationship. Someone who is grieving will likely go through the phases of denial, anger, negotiating, pleading, depression, and finally, acceptance. And many times, just when you think you are ready to accept what has happened, you will revert back to anger or denial or some other stage in the process. There is no right way to go through the stages of grief and healing. It can be best described as a roller coaster ride with highs and lows, ups and downs. As difficult as it may be, all of this is normal.

Although loss affects different people in dramatically different ways, there are common reactions to grief. When you are first informed of a loss, it is normal to feel like you are going to faint, or having a bad dream, that you're going crazy, or you're not able to breathe. Another common reaction is the tendency to question one's religious beliefs. Right after a loss, it is normal to be in shock and to not believe what has happened. You may feel numb or even choose to deny the truth.

Intense sadness is another symptom of grief. You may feel empty or lonely; you might cry unexpectedly, at any given moment, causing you to feel emotionally unstable. You may feel guilty about things you did or did not say or do for the person you lost. You may also feel guilty for being relieved, such as if your pet dies after a long illness, or a friend passes who was suffering from a terminal disease. You may feel blame and be resentful. You may blame yourself for not doing enough for a dying loved one, with God, with the doctors for not saving your loved one, or even with the person who died for leaving you. You may feel afraid or helpless. There are also physical symptoms, such as nausea, fatigue, weight loss, and insomnia.

So, what are the strategies for coping with grief? The most important thing is that you get support from other people. Express yourself and share your feelings. Whether your support comes from family members, friends, neighbors, clergy, or your counselor, accept their help and support. Connecting with other people will help you to heal. Draw strength from your faith. Join a support group. Get in touch with a mental health professional, a therapist, or a grief counselor if you are feeling overwhelmed with your grief. A professional can help you cope and work through your grief.

Be sure to take care of yourself, physically. When you feel good physically, you will also feel good emotionally. Try to beat additional stress by getting enough sleep every night, eating right, and exercising. Never use drugs or alcohol to numb your pain. And it is very important to not let anybody tell you how to feel. Again, everyone grieves differently, so one person cannot tell another person how to cope with grief. Be prepared for things to happen that will remind you of the person or thing you lost. Holidays and birthdays can be especially difficult. Hearing a certain song that was important to you and your lost loved one can trigger emotions.

The sadness of losing a loved one may never go away completely, but it should not be the center of your life forever. If grief causes you to not resume your life as you led it before the loss, you may be clinically depressed. If your life feels meaningless or empty, you are extremely bitter over your loss, you avoid things that remind you of your loved one, you feel hopeless or worthless, you are unable to function at home or work, or you have thoughts of suicide, seek professional help. Let the counselors at Orange County Relationship Center help you heal.

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By: Kingsley Ukpabi On 19:47

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Should You Stay or Go?

So, you have been in a committed relationship for many years, you're bored and have considered ending the relationship and moving on with your life. When determining whether to stay or go, you really need to ask yourself several things before pulling the plug. Why did you enter into the relationship in the first place? Are you looking for love? Do you need financial security? Is your goal to raise a family together? Is your relationship more of a partnership? Do you stay because being with your partner is familiar? Do you think you don't deserve better? None of these reasons are wrong, but if you are considering leaving the relationship, it's important to know why you're there in the first place.

Remember, all relationships hit rough spots; some can be fixed and some cannot. Life is full of choices. We can decide where to live, where to work, and who to marry. So, just as we can move if we don't like where we live, or changes job if we don't like where we work, is it just as simple to change who we love if we feel we have chosen incorrectly? Well, actually, it is easy to get out of a marriage; probably too easy.

People who suddenly become unhappy with their spouses or partners nearly always start thinking about how much happier they would be if they were with someone else. Is the grass always greener on the other side? Definitely not. Would the grass be greener if I married my high school sweetheart? Definitely not. Would the grass appear to be greener with somebody else right now since I don't feel particularly happy with my current partner? Absolutely. Should I go? No one can make that decision for us and before you do, here are a few things to keep in mind.

You made a commitment and (if you are married) took a vow to remain with your spouse forever.Finding someone else may make the grass appear to be greener on the other side because of the hormones felt during the beginning of an attraction. Remember, those feelings are more lust than love.Every relationship has problems and issues that need to, and usually can, be worked through.

Consider that basically, there are only a few types of problems. You need to know the type of problem you are having and whether you can work through it (or if you're willing to work through it). There are one-time problems that are easily solved; cyclical problems that will never go away, such as emotional needs; deal-breaker issues when one partner can't live with something; and wounding problems that will cause one partner to disengage over time.

If your relationship is fairly new, you are probably still in the lusting stage. If things have already gone awry so early in the relationship, you should probably go. You haven't even hit the "love" stage yet and if there are already problems in the "lust" stage, this relationship may not be meant for the long term. If you have moved in with your partner, you may be noticing traits you've never seen before. Maybe your significant other talks down to you and treats you like a child. Maybe there is always an argument about every little decision, such as the color of curtains or the type of dish detergent you use.

There are a lot of things you may not know about your partner until you move forward, in time, with your relationship. However, it's good to know these things before you commit to a long-term relationship. Being attracted to somebody, physically, is a different ball game than committing to them for life, especially if you find they are picky, selfish, and have no respect or regard for you and your preferences. Small issues can be resolved with improved communication skills; however, it is foolish to think you can change somebody's core beliefs and values. Never stay with somebody if you only have great sexual chemistry and nothing else. Sexual chemistry is a good thing; however, if you cannot trust this person as well, how will your future be down the road several years from now?

Consider the following things before making your decision to stay or to go.

Do you and your partner communicate to resolve conflicts, or do you just ignore disagreements?Think about the consequences that come with ending your relationship. If your partner has ever told you, "Don't even think about leaving me," or anything similar to that, plan your exit before telling your partner you are leaving.Imagine your life without your partner. Does that give you a sense of relief or a sense of sadness?Have you remained true to yourself or have you given up everything you possibly could give up to keep your partner happy without receiving anything from your partner that you need?

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By: Kingsley Ukpabi On 15:43

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